Phoning Culture
Once a date has come to an end there are many things that may go through your mind. You may hope never to see that person again in which case move on to another prospect as quickly as you can. On the other hand you may have had an excellent time together and are looking forward to seeing them again. If so you will wish to make contact sooner rather than later and if so here are some quick tips to assist:1. You have had a great date and may wish to phone to check they got home safely and thank them for the date. You may do this but only if you think it is acceptable in your circumstance. Phoning unnecessarily immediately afterwards can often have a bad effect of making you look overly keen and therefore putting them off. You may simply wish to send a text message or email instead at this very early stage. Keep things very short and sweet.
2. You should not phone immediately but neither should you wait days before seeking to communicate again. Whilst enigma builds desire, too much can make people think you are insincere or just playing a game. Therefore I recommend that you call within 48 hours to thank your date for a lovely evening and leave the option open for another date to follow.
3. In the first instance do not start chatting on the phone for hours on end within a day of having a date as although this appears perfectly acceptable and reassures you, in fact the long term effect will make you appear needy.
4. Remember that you have a busy and fulfilled lifestyle and that she or he is very lucky now to be included in it. To this end you should not seek out long phone conversations until after your second or third date.
5. Always know what you are going to say before you pick the phone up and smile whilst you are saying it. This will come across in your voice as you speak.
6. If you are getting repeated answer phone messages or calls from your date very quickly after your first meeting be wary. Too much clinging or neediness is not attractive and they may be showing their insecurities as much as their interest level in you. Dating at this stage should be relaxed and casual. In the same way, do not start phoning your date and leaving messages. Follow the general rule that if you leave one message that is enough. More than that and you are making a fool of yourself.
7. If you usually live by your cellular, then text messaging may play a big part in what follows but be extremely wary. Text messages are fun and convenient but easily misinterpreted. You can find that far from making you feel reassured and at ease, a text message can take your feet from under you due to a misunderstanding. Stick to proper conversations if possible.
8. Do not wait by your phone. Get on with your life and enjoy everything that you do. If someone is going to call you they will. By the same token, if they don't call, leaving messages will not help your cause. Enigma remains your strength here as does your busy lifestyle.
9. If there is an undue delay before you hear from your date it may be that they have been called away on business etc. However be wary of excuses as they are rarely true. In my opinion, if someone wants to reach you by phone, they will and they will make every effort to make contact. When we hear excuses such as 'oh didn't you get my message..?' or 'I tried to call you but..' it is time to take stock and move quickly on.
10. Keep your expectation levels realistically low. Pleasant surprises are far better than defeated expectations, so if the phone rings let them leave a message and respond as soon as you are ready.
11. If you said you would call, then do so, even if it is to let them down gently. Expecting a call that never comes is one of the worst things you can do to someone as it wastes their time and hurts them emotionally.
